Imagine there's No Assholes
by jep clayton
pigheaded editorial from issue 7 (2001)When the Star Wars Special Editions came out in 1997, I wrote an article for a university paper, tongue-in-cheek, wondering how far the trend of "re-doing" would go. Would it be okay to change endings? Would it be okay to take objectionable words out of books? Would it be okay to take a shitty movie and remake it into a good one? Har har. Time has passed, and now it all looks uglier. The original Star Wars movies are not for sale anymore, and with Lucas' penchant for fucking up collosally, I doubt they'll ever be made available on DVD. And now the question becomes something deeper: will the Star Wars I loved as a child disappear, or be relegated to some back-page Internet curio site? It's a strange thought. What if they colourized all the old movies and nobody cared? I bought Imagine, the 1971 Lennon album, on CD recently. I should have been warned off by the "remastered" label; I've been burned by Fripp's meddling with King Crimson remasters (avoid Three of a Perfect Pair - "Sleepless" is ruined by a compression of the Stick playing). I should also have been warned off by the fact that the date of the original release doesn't show up anywhere on this Imagine: this one apparently came out in 2000. (Kids without the context will be fooled, I promise.) And the sound is, yes, buggered. Noise reduction and digital clarification, plus Yoko's genuinely shitty taste (I'm not a Yoko basher, but she was out of line and out of her league remastering these) all royally fuck up the record. And I've been informed that these remastered versions will be the only ones available in the future. CD Now notes in small print that the albums are remastered - with "bonus" tracks. Not to belabour the point, but this is not the same album. I don't want bonus tracks - they change the album. And of course, there's a significant difference between Lennon's art being changed and Lucas' art being changed: Lucas got to decide what happens to his own art. Lennon can't be consulted. This sucks, and if you want Lennon's music on CD, you'd better find it used, soon. What is the real motivation for doing something like this? These albums were not flawed. The only reason for companies to keep re-releasing the same CDs is for the cash grab. And the only reason people keep buying them is to satiate their need to buy new stuff. It's Affluenza, an economic sickness, and real things get lost in the scramble for more trough space. Kids who buy Imagine on CD aren't going to notice the difference. When they share the songs, they won't know if it's the original. This is important: we're eating our history.
I'm not buying any more remasters. I was going to include an address for complaints to be written to EMI Parlaphone, but their site is being reconstructed. I thought that was kind of funny. I hope it turns out the way they want it.
- jep